모든 것을 잃고 새로운된 목적을 찾기에

크레이그: 뻔한 질문은, 왜 중동 지역에서 아직도 하지 [00:12:00] 오늘?

앤드류: 내가 될 것 이라고 생각. 그것은 꿈 이었다. 난 내 삶과 내가 뭘 했다의이 비전. 내가 거기 이동할 것 이라고 생각. 나는 문화 사랑에 빠 졌 했다. 내가 얘기에 아내-

크레이그: 사람들을 도와줄 수 있는 기회.

앤드류: 예. 난 어쩌면 비영리 또는 뭔가 시작 하 고 싶 었, 특히 어려운 상황에서 아이 들을 돕는, 팔레스타인에서 어쩌면. 그것은 모든 붕괴. 길고도 짧은 이야기, 나는 결국 [00:12:30] back in the US and feeling like I lost everything. I’d lost my plan. I’d lost my vision for what I thought my life was going to be. I’d lost this purpose that I had. I lost relationships. I’d made promises to guys over there. I was like, “이 봐, I’m going to come back. I’m going to open this gym. Ready to start this thing.

크레이그: 오른쪽. You had to walk away from that, 오른쪽?

앤드류: 예, I felt crushed. Coming back, I’d spent all my money. My car had broken down. We’d gotten rid of our apartment my [00:13:00] wife and I had. I had nowhere to live. I had no money. I had no possessions. I’d given away the last of my money I could before we left the Middle East thinking I was coming back and getting a job. I didn’t have my job anymore. I’d quit that. 그것은 모두 정말 폭락 하 고 붕괴, 그리고 난 정말 잃어버린 느낌. 나는 결국, 내 동생과 나, 절망의 순간에 [00:13:30] 그리고-

크레이그: 예, 여행 오른쪽, 퀘스트…

앤드류: 예, 처럼, “내가 뭘 어떻게 해야 할지를 모르겠어요.” 우리는 픽업 트럭에서 얻을, 우리는 서쪽 운전을 시작 했다.. 우리와 함께로 지도 했다 그리고 그것은 그냥, “하자 우리가 어디 결국 참조 하 고 무슨 일이 일어 나는지.” 우리는 운전, 우리가 단지 우리가 콜로라도에 도달할 때까지 운전 유지. 난 ’ t 알고, 산에 대해 뭔가, 추측하건데. 우리는 거기에 운전, 그리고 우리가 산속으로 운전 하 고 길가 트럭 주차, 그리고 주위를 선회 [00:14:00] 그리고 조회 및 우리 처럼, “좋습니다, 어떤 … 하자 한 등반,” 어떤, 솔직히, 끔찍한 생각이. 거기 밖으로 사람에 게 듣고, 그건 산을 등반 하는 방법.

크레이그: 일기 예보? 아니요.

앤드류: 우리는 저녁에 늦게 냈, 그래서 거의 죽어가 고 하지 말아야 우리가 절벽에 떨어지는 바위와 산이 그냥 기 진 맥 진하게 등반 했다 … 사업에. 상단에 도착, 그것은 일몰. 그것은 끔찍한 생각, 하지만 그 중 하나 그것은 완벽 하 게 끝나는 모험.

크레이그: 예, 수 없는 계획을 그것은 더 나은.

앤드류: 예. [00:14:30] 거기에 내 동생과 나는, 최고봉에 올라 오고 그리고 어쩌면 30 마일이 서 왼쪽으로, 그리고 그것의 눈이 시점에서, 눈과이 야생화. 그것은 여름의 시작 이었습니다.. 난 ’ t 알고. 무슨 일이 있었는지 모르겠어요.. 왜 내가 말하고이 podcast에 몰라. 내가 내 모든 옷을 벗고 그리고 난 그냥 벗고 산의 나머지를 실행. 그것은이 순간 느낌, 그것은 어떻게든 할 옳은 일을 했다. It was this … 그것은 자신에 대 한 비유 또는 그냥 어떻게 기분이 있는 경우 [00:15:00] 난 아무것도 왼쪽.

크레이그: 카타르시스, 오른쪽?

앤드류: 모든 것 위에, 나는 언급 하지 않았다을 추측 한다., 내 무릎이 시점에서 부상 했다, 그래서 내가 Parkour 할 수 없 었, 어느, 그리고 뭔가 내가 하 고 싶 었 어 요. 난 아무것도 없 었. I was like, “좋아, 뿐만 내 옷을 걸릴 수 있습니다., 너무. 난, 난 아무것도 왼쪽.” 벌 거 벗은이 산을 달려, 그리고 상단에. 문장을 통해 서, 그리고 태양 설정. 모든 라이트 업. 그것은 모든 골든, 그리고 거기에 그냥 밖으로 확산 하는 콜로라도, 그냥 산, [00:15:30] 최대한 멀리 볼 수 있습니다. 세계의 정상 처럼 느낄. 거기 당신이 하늘 너무 큰의. 난 ’ t 알고. 오하이오에서 여기, 나무와 건물 기타 등등을 통해 드라이브, and the sky’s this blue thing up there.

크레이그: 예, overhead, not all around.

앤드류: 예. You get on top of a mountain, you’re like, “없음, the sky’s almost to your feet.You’re just in this huge dome of the universe, and you feel so small. Just looking out at it all, I just threw my fist to the sky and [00:16:00] let out a yell of … 난 ’ t 알고, of anger, frustration, of hurt.

크레이그: Final fling of a- the last bit of a thing you were holding onto.

앤드류: Just shaking my fist at God and saying, “왜? Why is this? Why am I here? Why have I lost everything?” It’s weird. That moment was rock bottom for me, but it’s also the beginning of moving up, of a change.

크레이그: 예, the new journey. From there, [00:16:30] you have two choices. You have the dark abyss on one side, 말 그대로, and then you have the journey that you chose.

앤드류: 예, I did. I felt like I had a choice, and I had to look and choose. Do I go into nothingness, I give up, I quit, I walk off the cliff ahead of me, I just run off it and scream and that’s it, or do I accept that, 그래, everything’s been taken from me, but it was never mine to begin with? We come from dust, and we return to dust. We don’t have anything except what we’re given, and it’s a gift. [00:17:00] Life is a gift. Everything, every breath I have is a gift. Every step I take is a gift. If I only get to train Parkour one more time in my life, that’s a gift. It’s not a horrible thing. It’s a beautiful thing. If I’m paralyzed tomorrow, I still have been given so much. I guess in that moment, I had so much clarity of realizing I’ve been looking at life backwards this whole time. I’d been putting my motivationFinding my motivation in, and putting my hope in, [00:17:30] all these things that I had, all these Parkour abilities-

크레이그: Everything’s anchored in the future that way if you’re always thinking-

앤드류: 예. My plans for what I thought I was going to do with my life, how I thought things were going to pan out and all these things, and realizing … 예, it’s funny. Thinking back to the Daniel Ilabaca‘s words to me about, “Stop focusing on the future. You’re stutter stepping. You’re losing your strength.I was running up to a precision jump, and I couldn’t hit it because I wasn’t putting my power into each moment, each step. I was [00:18:00] looking ahead of the jump. It’s so true. In that moment, I guess I hit that point of realizing that I can’t put my hope in all these other things because they all pass away eventually.

크레이그: 확실히. There’s no guarantee.

앤드류: I had to find something else to live for. I chose life. Between the two choicesthe darkness, the abyss, and I think faith or [00:18:30] hope or somethingI chose that. I said, “좋아, I’m going to believe that I think God has a purpose for me, that’s there some value for my life, that there’s something that was worth living for. I just have to try and seek that out and find what it is.I put my clothes back on, and had a snowball fight with my brother, and drove back.

크레이그: That’s the perfect ending, I was thinking, “I bet there was a snowball fight.

앤드류: There was. There was a snowball fight. [00:19:00] I came back to Ohio and decided, “좋아, I’m going to be here

크레이그: Be here now for my family, for my community-

앤드류: 예, and not for myself and not for my plans and not for what I thought I was going to be done. It was weird. It was a weird moment. It’s all gone, so now it’s a blank slate. I’m here. What do I do? I feel like the answer that I got was, “love people.You’re here in this place. 왜 [00:19:30] live here? Why not live somewhere else? It’s not for the weather, and it’s not for the training spots, or it’s not for any of these other reasons. Ultimately-

크레이그: Sometimes it’s easy to fall back on and get complacent and say, “I live in this place. The sunset is gorgeous every day, and there are all these things,” and in some ways, the living in an environment where you don’t have any assistance, where things are just natural, just normal, that [00:20:00] requires you to rise to the occasion. You have to find the meaning in the moments.

앤드류: 예, I definitely was like, “좋아, I’ve said I’m in this place, so what do I do in this place?” I guess there’s people here, and there’s beautiful people here. They have value. I believe that they’re created with an inherent value. Each person is unique and beautiful, so I felt this calling to devote myself to that, that I should[00:20:30] in as much as I had lost everything else to live for, that I’d found a purpose in living for love, that I found that I feel that I have been loved. That moment of realizing, “I’ve been given so much-

크레이그: 예, look at everything I have. Everything’s been taken away, but I still have all of this, 오른쪽?

앤드류: 예. It’s a gift of, if nothing else, breathing. I’ve been given this gift, so in return, as much as I’ve been loved by God, how can I love others? [00:21:00] That really started digging me into the idea of community here in this place with these people. How can I-

크레이그: How can I be a good father? How can I be a good husband? How can I be a good community member? What would that look like?

앤드류: 오른쪽, 예. How can I do thatEven if it’s hard, even if it’s notSometimes I feel like people aren’t participating or they’re even fighting me in a way. Sometimes people hurt you in relationships. Sometimes you’re tryingI feel like I’m trying [00:21:30] to build a community and people are almost fighting against me in that, but I think that’s part of it. I think that’s part of loving people, is being able to take whatever they throw at you.

크레이그: 오른쪽.